Wednesday, February 5, 2020

style - Showing a Brief Hesitation


I'm working on a revision of my novel and noticed that I mark the passage of a very brief time, of a hesitation, using a small number of descriptions that become repetitive, e.g. variations of




for a heartbeat or two


he breathed in, held the air, and let it out



What strategies can I use to find fresh ways to convey a brief hesitation or pause in action or dialog?



Answer



A character who hesitates is probably thinking about something. Maybe deliberating about the wisdom or consequences of the action. Weighing risks. Deliberating.


If you're in the hesitating character's POV, write what the character is thinking and feeling that causes the hesitation.


If you're in another character's POV, write the POV character's reaction to observing the hesitation.


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