style - How to create space

Recently, a few snippets of my fiction have received critiques along the lines of 'Does not give a sense of space'. Or 'needs more description, sights and sounds'.

I think where I am going wrong is that in any given scene I am focusing too hard on the characters, the dialogue or the progression of events and not creating a world which the reader can feel around him/her. So would you guys have any tips on how I can get better at creating space? Any good reading material on it?

Answer

A common mistake when people first try to work on setting or "space" is simply to add more description. This is usually the wrong thing to do, since lots of unfocused description is just clutter. What you need to do add descriptive notes that also contribute to other elements of the story. Having a small number of details that contribute to the overall weight of the story is much more effective than adding a large number of disconnected details.

To take Lauren Ipsum's example above, let's work with John entering a room and saying something to Mary. We can bring in description to add to any of the following:

• Character: What kind of person is John, and what does he notice? There was new wood flooring in her apartment, straight out of last year's home show. Cheap Picasso reproductions on the walls. Paperback copies of trendy, pretentious novels were stacked on the Ikea end-table. She'd probably never even read them. Ah, but at least she had a nice leather couch, tucked there beneath her half-exposed thighs, just waiting for the two of them to screw on.



• Plot: What's the situation, and how does the setting affect it? The metal door bangs shut behind him, and he immediately notices there's no other way out. Mary's sitting behind a card table, and in the shadows behind her a strange man leans against a filing cabinet and smokes a cigarette. The air stinks of gunpowder and garlic.


• Theme: What is the atmosphere and tone of the story, and how does the environment reflect it? Sunlight creaks in through the ancient blinds, lighting up a dusty, cluttered coffee table. Unwashed dishes are piled up in the sink. Water dripping from the faucet makes a pinging sound in an old bowl, counting down the seconds until their inevitable breakup.

Obviously, your situations are different from these. But in any scene, you create atmosphere and setting not by describing everything, but by picking out those few details that will build up the rest of what's going on.