How to guide the workflow in a collaboration? How to not kill the other’s motivation?

While working together, how can I discuss my ideas and objections without killing the other person’s motivation?

I want to do a design project with a friend, for study purposes, but I experienced some obstacles I don’t know how to deal with:

1. 
   

   We didn’t learn yet how to deal with objections or dislikes from the other. As a result our meetings are inefficient, either because we let the other do whatever they want, or because someone gets into a bad mood and instead of thinking, they try to put on an unaffected face.

   
   


2. 
   

   My friend has a habit of letting their attention stray away, and they do it at the most unexpected times.

   
   
   

I know that being sincere is needed and inevitable, but I would like to learn a method to keep the attention and motivation even in these situations. My problem is that I don’t know what to say or do to keep our task looking interesting and fun to do.

As a possible solution I thought of inserting a 5 minute period where we shouldn’t say any good things, not even a word, but have to point out the bad parts of our own work.

But I fear this one won’t be enough, that’s why I would like to hear ideas and tricks that could make our sessions going.

Answer

This seems less like a graphic design question and more like a life question, but I still think it is an interesting question to answer.

It is inevitable that you will be stuck on teams, throughout life, where you don't see eye-to-eye with some of your group members.

In a situation where both of you are coming up with design ideas you need to both give each other a chance and hear the other person out. Ask questions. Ask why your team member decided to design something a particular and make sure you listen, don't just wait to talk. It is not productive to just shoot down all ideas right away as this makes the other person feel like their opinions don't matter and they lose motivation.

Who knows, maybe you feel you are a better designer and that you make more informed decisions. However that doesn't change the fact that what the other person has may be a good idea, just maybe poorly executed.

You mentioned that you want to try and have a five minute period where you say nothing "good" but rather only "bad" things. I suggest that instead you try and give each other constructive feedback. That means that you should identify why you don't like a particular design and how you think it can be improved.

In the end, if you or your group member can't deal with constructive criticism then that's a personal problem you need to work on. If they are having issues make it clear to them that you aren't trying to make them feel bad but rather offer suggestions on how they can get better and always be supportive of them.