Wednesday, September 28, 2016

characters - Is straight-up writing someone's opinions telling?


When I first learned about the "show don't tell" guideline, I believe it applied to everything. I have now learned there are many grey areas, like for example exposition, and that the most important thing to remember is that emotions must be shown, not told.


So, what about opinions? Attitudes people have, etc.? I'd say opinions and attitudes to certain things are integral parts of someone's personality, and if you're telling someone's personality, instead of showing it through their actions or conveying it through dialogue, then that's bad writing.


Here's the sentence in question that I am currently critiquing:



He [Visa] squared his shoulders, Reino respected confidence.




There is a conflict, between Visa and Reino. Now, I reacted to the fact that it says, straight-up "Reino respected confidence". I believed in such cases, one would show his respect and acknowledgement as Visa portrayed confidence. I.e.:



He squared his shoulders. Reino's forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows rose, looking at his apprentice's new posture.



Now, this writing is pretty terrible, but at least I'm showing his respect and acknowledgement. And another way I believe to do it, whilst still staying within the "show don't tell" guideline is to convey the information through dialogue/monologue/thought.



He squared his shoulders. This'll get him to listen to me. He respects confidence.



Not only is the fact that Reino respects confidence conveyed, but a little of Visa's personality is illuminated as well. Now, I probably did it a bit too on the nose, so that it is practically still "telling", but it is the concept I'm talking about.


Though, I honestly don't know. Perhaps it is completely acceptable and good writing to just write "...Reino respected confidence."? Perhaps that is even better than my options?





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