I write short stories, a lot of short-shorts. I would say the longest thing I've actually finished writing is "Lord of Snakes", which was about 19 pages typed. (And not even very good.) So I've always wanted to be able to write something...at least 60,000 words. And maybe it is because I feel like I can't be a true writer without writing a novel. And maybe that's wrong, but I'm...extremely frustrated by my inability to write something of length.
I'm not entirely sure why. When I write shorts I DO plan, and construct and such...but in many ways the characters and plot seem to write themselves freely, using me only as a medium. And that's what WORKS. When I try to write something long I end up getting terrible writer's block and can't write for days or more--because if I do write then I all but mess up the story. And because I'm not writing on it I sort of lose interest and when I come back to it I just get confused. It's like I can't handle anything complicated. I try mapping out the story and characters like people suggest, but that seems to just...mess with my mind and make it worse.
So sometimes I start over. Like with "Annabel's Demon"--I've tried three different times to write it, and each time end up at a standstill. I tried writing in third, then first, then third again. Tweaked the story and characters. Completely started over. And found myself failing to write anything decent. I get lost. I stop and try to go back. I leave it for a while and write something else. Once, when I was a preteen, I managed to write a good 80 pages of a story, but never finished. And now when I go back to it I realise it just needs rewritten and...it isn't a good enough story for that much work.
Please help. Help me at least understand what I'm doing wrong. I so badly want to write something of length. I feel bad for all the decent story ideas I've abandoned because they...stopped dead.
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