Every writer knows the rule: Avoid clichés like the plague! Wait I can't say that, it is a cliché. Let me try again, I hate to beat a dead horse but... No that won't work either.
If you have ever listened to actual dialogue, it is filled with clichés, colloquialisms and generally poor grammar. I live in the South and can assure you that it is impossible to write realistic Southern dialogue without peppering it with slang, clichés, fragmented sentences and poor grammatical exposition.
Even stories are clichéd. There are a finite number of plots and most are very predictable. This blog discusses the need for originality:
A writer’s job is to write stories—not to steal or borrow them and, with a coat of fresh paint, pawn them off as original. http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/10-tips-to-bypass-cliche-and-melodrama
Yet it is totally contradicted by a recent article on plots. https://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2016/jul/13/three-six-or-36-how-many-basic-plots-are-there-in-all-stories-ever-written
and a literary scholar asserts the number of basic plots may be as few as seven:
According to Mr. Booker, there are only seven basic plots in the whole world -- plots that are recycled again and again in novels, movies, plays and operas. Those seven plots are: 1.Overcoming the Monster, 2.Rags to Riches, 3.The Quest, 4.Voyage and Return, 5.Rebirth, 6.Comedy and 7.Tragedy. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/15/books/the-plot-thins-or-are-no-stories-new.html
You generally only need to know the basic elements of a story to predict the ending. How many times have we guessed the ending of a blockbuster movie or a best selling novel?
This blog hits the nail on the head (oh geez another cliché) concerning clichéd dialogue:
The good news for those of who don’t like rules, is that their jurisdiction ends the moment you insert a quotation mark. The quote is like the county line of grammar enforcement. http://thewritepractice.com/want-write-better-dialogue-break-rules/
And this Reddit subgroup agrees that avoiding clichés in dialogue sounds stilted and unrealistic:
Have you ever read the kind of dialogue an author writes when s/he's trying to avoid all cliche? It makes all the characters sound like quirky English majors trying to come up with new phrases https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/comments/1w1d1z/are_cliches_and_commonly_said_phrases_acceptable/
Of course clichés can be overdone as pointed out on this definitive list: https://gointothestory.blcklst.com/definitive-list-of-cliched-dialogue-9b8f469bc305?gi=b63bb27731f
But I still think clichés have a time and a place in writing (I guess I am hopeless)
So why are writer's told to avoid clichés in their fiction writing?
Answer
This answer requires two parts, because it is important to note the difference between cliches in the plot, and overused phrases in dialogue. They might technically both be cliches (I'm not sure), but they are not the same thing. I will deal with cliches in the plot first.
Two Truths
The first thing to realize about cliches in the plot is that they work. That's the whole reason they are cliches. They've been tested over and over, and get the job done every time, usually in the simplest and most effective way possible.
The second thing to realize about cliches is that because they work, they have been used a billion times. You already know this. You know that because they have been used so much, readers can guess the endings of predictable plots. And that's the problem.
No one (at least no one in their right mind) wants to know the ending to a book before they read it, or especially while they're reading it. That just ruins the whole experience, especially if it's a mystery or something similar.
But worse than that is the staleness of the cliches. If you write with cliches in your plot, the reader is never surprised (unless it's at the sheer number of cliches). The twists are never shocking. The character's choices are never real. The whole thing is just a collection of well known scenarios and answers strung together by a few chapter headings. Most people don't want to read something they could recite from heart (obviously not true about everything, but you get the picture).
That's why cliches get a bad rep - because authors can (and sometimes do) use them as a crutch. The character needs to be driven? Kill off his dad! He needs to be conflicted about fighting the bad guy? The bad guy is his dad! Ah! A story!
Now it is important to keep the first thing I said, in mind: Cliches work. Cliches are not inherently bad. They are overused, and they are stale when relied upon, but they by themselves are not bad. In fact, some of them are tried and true story telling techniques. The trick is to know when to use them.
Using Cliches
A good rule of thumb is: 'if it benefits your writing, do it.' If the cliche is genuinely the best way to get from point A to point B in your story, use it. Don't rely on it, use it. There is a difference.
Relying on a cliche means that you can sit back, knowing exactly how things will unfold and that they will work perfectly. Using a cliche means that you break it down into what you need, and what is simply part of the package deal of the cliche.
And if it turns out that you need to use a cliche completely, then twists are your best friend. You know what the reader expects. Change it, if you can. Mix things up at the last moment. If there is absolutely nothing you can change, have your characters remark on/simply note the cliche. Acknowledging it tends to let the reader know, 'hey, I know it's cliche, but it's what worked. I'm not relying on it.'
Dialogue
A lot of your question deals with 'cliches in dialogue'. While I am not the master of all things cliched (thank goodness), I do not believe those are cliches. I believe they are colloquialisms or simply overused phrases. A cliche is a plot device. Masters in the way of cliches may correct me on this.
You are talking specifically about overused phrases. Here, your job is simple: Make sure you create characters who use these phrases, not characters who default to the phrases. Once again, it's the same idea of using the cliche as a crutch. We all use cliched phrases when we talk, but we rarely do so for no reason. Perhaps we could use a little more reason, but you get the point. It's fine for your characters to use these phrases if they make sense. If they are what the character would actually say.
At the same time, you also want to make sure the dialogue is readable. If I were to make a character who spoke exactly like members of my family, the reader would be lost within seconds.
tl;dr
Find the balance between necessary cliches, originality, acknowledging the cliches, and readability. Use cliches. Don't rely on them.
I hope this helps you!
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