Reading books of Dan Brown and that sort (pardon my inability to produce any other relevant examples off the top of my head) gives off the impression to budding writers that novels need to have a minimum standard of vocabulary, in order to be taken seriously or for the story to be more interesting. At least that's what it makes me think.
It puts off average English speakers like me from even attempting to write anything impactful, let alone a novel.
I've read few novels where the language is on par with what people use in day-to-day life (albeit my collection of read books is limited mostly to classics and thrillers, both of which tend to use gaudy words every now and then). The case with classics is understandable as even the normal language back then used to be more complex than what it's now (just look up at any Shakespeare piece, although that would probably be a tad too extreme). Thrillers, on the other hand, have this tendency to employ crisp and sophisticated vocabulary to set a certain mood.
Samples of what I usually end up writing (when I'm not trying too hard and just casually typing my mind away):
Tea-making was art.
I was fascinated, entranced by those fluid, graceful hand movements of that chaiwala, nimbly dipping the glass cups into hot water and pouring milk, tea, and gur one at a time.
I hadn’t realised I had voiced the exclamation. My doting aunt and uncle had charming smiles in response, with an all-too-familiar all-knowing look. It plagued me to imagine I had thought anything less of it. It was pathetic how urban juveniles, myself included, underestimated the classic villages back here. Granted, it had none of the poshness and luxurious comfort that allowed us delicate little things to get shamelessly pampered. But it was more raw and downright ‘fresh’ than anything I had ever encountered back home in Dhaka. It was pathetic.
My stomach did a series of somersaults within a mere fraction of a second when I spotted the 5-storeys tall building. We had arrived. I sat still, watching my mum bargain with the rickshaw-walla. Her lips pressed into a thin line; that was all I needed before I jumped down the rickshaw and hobbled my way up the long fifteen steps before stepping into the cool, refreshing air-conditioned room and into the limelight.
Almost as soon I heaved the door in, I could feel a slew of all-penetrating rays escaping from 60 pairs of young eyes boring into my shaking person. Their line of sight seemed to be aligned on me.
My heart stopped for the tiniest of moments when I spotted him in the back. No.
Suddenly, my stomach convulsed with violent cramps. It was the beginning of something red and nasty. Period.
I instinctively called out, “Uhmm, sir, I’m feeling sick.” The said sir concernedly rushed up to me and kindly asked whether I wanted to leave or go on to do rest of the class. I replied that a few minutes’ break would suffice, which he didn’t get. He assumed I hadn’t wanted to leave and simply went back. I don’t want to dwell on the fact that his English was woefully defective.
After a little coaxing from some girls who were seated next to me, I managed to squeak out (in English, might I add): “Can I just leave?” in a voice that was the epitome of girlish timidity.
He consented to my very innocent request. I simply packed my bag and dashed out. However I had to go through that boy to get to the exit. (He was sitting a couple of rows ahead.) And I somewhat awkwardly managed to heave myself through the heavy door and flee.
When does such a style get too simplistic for the average reader's taste? How much more polishing does it need to get close to being of a publishable standard?
I'm aware that they aren't perfect at any rate; they're to represent what my first drafts typically look like.
Answer
I don't think there is anything wrong with your vocabulary; if YOU are worried about it, I'd suggest you consult an online thesaurus at times. Here is one I use, it's fine and extremely extensive (2656 suggested synonyms for "fine"); so consult a dictionary or other source to fine tune the word you want.
Or better yet, use this resource to research the origin of the word (aka "etymology"). How it came to BE a word will often give you a good idea of how it should be used.
In general, many books are written in "plain" language, and that is all it takes.
When does such a style get too simplistic for the average reader's taste?
The only time this gets in the way is if there is a really obvious (to most native speakers) a better word to use, then the author can seem amateurish. For example,
In a trial Josh was found guilty of shoplifting
versus
Josh was convicted of shoplifting
Such substitutions are less easy to find, but with the power thesaurus, "convicted" is on the first page of synonyms for "guilty", so it can help in that sense. But your writing does not seem to suffer from a lack of exposure to common English.
How much more polishing does it need to get close to being of a publishable standard?
From a vocabulary standpoint, none. Save two instances: (1) "It plagued me" struck me as a wrong word choice, I'd actually prefer a simpler word like "bothered" or irritated or irked. (2) "Period." In English as a word in a sentence by itself, this connotation is "I won't discuss this further." To avoid that and indicate menstruation, it would be "My period." Even with your prior description.
Other issues make this fall short of publishable; and though I understand it is a first draft, I will point them out for future drafts:
You have an issue with pronoun agreement (The final "It was pathetic" is confusing when "it" has been used repeatedly to refer to "classic villages" in a positive tone (and for those references, "it" should have been "they").
You are in several places going over the top with multiple adjectives. "a mere fraction of a second" is too much. Pick an adjective, the perfect adjective, and don't make everything so extreme.
Not everything needs an adjective.
"instinctively called"
"concernedly rushed"
"kindly asked"
"simply went back"
"sad fact"
"woefully defective"
There is a maxim we use for people writing advertisements: If you emphasize everything, you have emphasized nothing.
If every tenth word in your sales letter is bolded, underlined, italicized, has a box drawn around it and a star-burst next to it, readers will just ignore all that. If you have ONE phrase in the letter set off in a box, that will be read by most readers.
A similar rule applies to adjectives in fiction. If you use them everywhere, they just start to be irritating!
Don't worry too much about building a fancy vocabulary. Do worry about word choice, though.
No comments:
Post a Comment