Sunday, August 27, 2017

style - I'm getting tired of "he said" "she said" in dialogue; how do I get around it?



I get tired of "he said", "she said", "they replied". Is there a better, but still reasonable way, to indicate dialogue?



Answer



I like to describe the how (explain intonation, body language) and the purpose of the dialogue, not just the fact of the speech being made.



"Your chest pains have not subsided, have they, Mr. Gittes?" Zimmerman squints at me across the desk.


"How did you guess?" I mumble, scanning his morose, concerned expression.


He arches his eyebrows, avoiding my question. "I assume you're experiencing... hallucinations?"


I turn to leave the office. "Well, would that be expected? Just from codeine?"


He shakes his head in response and releases an impatient sigh. He rises to his feet. “You can’t hide behind those sunglasses, Jake. We can all see you.” His eyes flick upwards, indicating the crowd of spectators in the gallery; we’re trapped inside a play by the Marquis de Sade. He begins to undress to jeers from the audience. Exit stage left.




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