style - How to write realistic female dialogue

I just can't make my dialogue sound like it's being said by a woman. As a friend of mine pointed out, "This woman talks just like you, Jack."

I tried imitating the speech patterns of various females I know, but it just doesn't work. Most women I know talk about things that interest women (e.g. shoes, shopping, baseball, etc.), and not about wars, monsters and magic, which is what my book is about.

My best attempts merely made them sound British (but still like men, and with a funny choice of words).

Any ideas or guidelines would be greatly appreciated.

EDIT: I know women do talk about the same things as men; that's exactly my point. I'm wondering if there's any short-cut to making a character sound more like a woman, without reverting to fake stereotypes.

Answer

First of all, thinking of some conversations as solely the domain of women and some as solely the domain of men is not going to get you anywhere. For example I know of many female computer programmers, women in a male-dominated career field, who can talk circles around most guys when it comes to discussing computer hardware. I know men who enjoy sharing favorite recipes and guys who look at the Ralph Lauren lookbook for women in order to find nice fashions for their wives and can talk circles around some fashion-averse women when it comes to cuts of shirts.

Women who are in the middle of a war will talk about war. Women who can practice magic or are affected by it will most definitely talk about magic - if you've been reading fantasy and haven't come across women talking about magic you've been reading a very, very narrow selection. If there's a monster prowling around town you can bet your bottom dollar women will talk about it as much as men. Some women may even talk about the best way to kill it just as some men will try to avoid the subject out of sheer fear.

If your characters talk just like you, the problem isn't the gender. I bet the men all talk just like you as well. The issue is fully realizing your characters as other than you. For that read the answers on Getting inside someone else's head. Sure, women can provide a perspective that men don't, but their perspective is informed by their background, experiences, friendships, and interests. These may be influenced by their sex, but their sex is not the sum total of these things!

For more on specifically thinking in terms of a different gender than yours, see pitfalls of writing a main character of different gender to the author and the opposite sex in first person. But my best piece of advice is to focus less on the fact that your characters are female and focus on fleshing out the personhood of all your characters.