Saturday, February 14, 2015

technique - How to avoid constantly starting paragraphs with "The character did this" "The character did that"?


This is one of the tics I've noticed in my writing recently, and it's starting to bug me. Almost every single one of my paragraphs, particularly during dialogue sequences, starts with "The character did this". The main exceptions are when I use "'Quote', attribution, 'continuance'" instead.


Here's a brief example:



"I'll come visit you every now and again, if I'm not too busy," said Electron.


Colin smiled. "I'm sure the other patients will appreciate that as well," he said. "You been to the children's ward yet?"


"Not yet," said Electron. "I think I'll leave that for last. The kids won't want me to go, you know?"


Colin nodded. "You're a good man, Electron," he said. "I think we're gonna get along just fine. It's a pleasure to have you in my city."


Electron returned the mayor's smile. "It's a pleasure to be here," he said.




How do I get out of this habit? Or is this not worth worrying about?




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