style - What revisions for this draft would be more readable and/or more humorous?

Notes:

1. My audience knows that adrenaline and epinephrine are synonyms.



2. I'm new! I'm sorry if I abuse the site by posting this!


3. Please critique ruthlessly.


4. I would send by Facebook message to a girl I know, who's having a bad year.

Draft:

Excerpt from The Mechanic

In the roles of cooperating hitmen, Ben Foster and Jason Statham plan an assassination attempt. They finish each other’s sentences, amplifying a sense of magnitude, gravity, and confidence.

• [Ben Foster] Adrenaline shot to the heart. 12cc and he’s dead in under three minutes.


• [Jason Statham] Adrenaline’s unreliable. It may only force him into cardiac arrest.



• [B Foster] But when the EMTs arrive, the first thing they do is jam you with a shot of epinephrine...


• [J Statham] Which is toxic when combined with...


• [B Foster] Adrenaline.


• [J Statham] So on the off chance our adrenaline shot doesn’t kill him...


• [B Foster] The EMTs will.