I am writing a manuscript for a novel. It's my first attempt, and often I find myself wanting to write "suddenly" or "all of a sudden". I do this when I want the scene to change in an instant, or the reader to be surprised.
What is a good way to make this happen, while avoiding the "suddenly"/"all of a sudden" clichés? Are there words or phrases that can replace them? Am I simply building a scene wrong? If so, what is an effective technique for creating surprise without running into this problem?
Answer
I think this is one of those areas where the 'show don't tell' rule really shines.
Instead of:
Bart sat back in his chair and let himself relax. All of a sudden, there was a huge explosion down the street.
Try:
Bart sat back in his chair and let himself relax. He was almost asleep when something made him open his eyes. There was just enough time for him to roll off his chair and desperately flatten himself against the ground. The cloud of debris had swept over him before he even heard the explosion. He kept his head low, his hands shielding his neck, and tried to understand what was happening. etc.
I'd also suggest short sentences and paragraphs (I didn't do that in my example, but if I were writing this in MS format, I'd definitely consider putting a paragraph break after the second sentence). You may want to go so far as using short, sharp words.
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